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By Rick
Freedom
So you’ve gone on a couple of dates, and you
really like the other person. The chemistry was
there, and they even went in for that
end-of-the-date kiss. That’s great! But now
what do you do? How do you know if they
sincerely like you, or are just playing
around?
In all honesty, there’s no method of completely
determining how genuine another person is; you
simply have to play the waiting game. Continue
the getting-to-know-you process, and soon
enough, you’ll be able to tell what his or her
intentions really are. It’s called the “game of
love,” and you’re only in the first
quarter.
The Difference between Actions and
Words
While it’s generally difficult to gauge the
intensity of someone’s feelings so early on, it
is possible to determine whether or not you’re
wasting your time with them. There’s an old
saying that “actions speak louder than words,”
and it couldn’t be truer. Words are free; they
literally cost nothing to say. It’s the actions
behind those words that require genuine,
heartfelt effort.
For example, if you’re deeply attracted to
someone (physically and emotionally), chances
are you take the time to call them, and when
you two are together, they have your full
attention. You may tell them how much you like
them, but even better, your actions prove that
you do. You want to speak to them and be with
them, and you go after what you want. In short,
you sincerely like them.
However, if you find that you’re constantly
giving as the other person takes (for example,
it’s always you who has to pick up the phone
and call), you should probably reevaluate your
relationship. Genuine attraction and
appreciation for another person is give and
take. If they don’t ever seek your company, or
if you still haven’t met their friends,
something is terribly wrong.
Don’t find yourself in a position where your
heart and mind can’t compromise. While the
heart usually wants to believe the other person
is sincere, the mind always knows otherwise.
Listen to your gut, and follow these steps to
help you move on to bigger and better
things:
1. Respect Yourself: Ever
notice how it’s the weak-minded kids who are
always getting picked on? That’s because they
have no self respect. They allow themselves to
be treated in certain ways, and as a result,
they are the targets of your typical bully.
Recognize what treatments you will and will not
stand for, and draw the line between them. When
you do so, other people will automatically
respect you more.
2. Think Independently: Don’t
consider yourself worthless because you’re not
seeing anybody. So many people consider
themselves “lucky” to have their mate, or even
worse, they can’t believe their mate even wants
to be with them! This train of thought is
destructive, and it must not be allowed to
progress. If you want other people to sincerely
like you, you must first like
yourself.
3. Have Standards: Don’t just
go out with someone because they asked you; go
out with them because they appeal to you. No
one has ever died from spending a Friday night
home alone, so if you’d rather be doing that
than going on a date with a certain someone, do
it! By having enough standards to only date
people you sincerely like, you’re already
starting off on a positive
note.
The point is this: don’t place too much
emphasis on whether or not someone sincerely
likes you. You must first have the confidence
to like yourself, and everything else will fall
into place from that point on. If you emit the
signals that you’re a great catch, or that
you’re perfectly confident as a single person,
you’d be amazed at how people will become drawn
to you! Abandon the mindset that you must have
a mate in order to be a complete person. Our
partners are supposed to enhance who we already
are, not define us.
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